reading
Mood:
a-ok
Now Playing: I hear the engine of an aircraft, and someone banging on something
Re-reading Anthony Kiedis' "Scar Tissue"- at a more reasonable pace this time. More absorbtion, less intense hunger. Doing the "well, I'm in xyz section, let's listen to the matching album" gig. Found I can write AND sew at the same time.
Why I read this is not to hear about the debauchery or the addictions. Its to see the lessons learned, what he had to do to get to the point where he can step back outside himself and see what's happened, and how it developed him into the man he is today. To see what it took to open his eyes.
Sometimes the lessons you must learn in this lifetime are difficult ones, or you're too stubborn to learn them.
or afraid to learn them because it might make you responsible for what you do.
I notice that when he discusses the effects of the meds- coz that's what you're doing: self-medicating -- he switches into the second person. Like that's no longer a part of him; it's a separate Anthony.
I see Flea thru all this, patient and watching and hoping Anthony doesn't go the way Hillel did. Always there. but frustrated. Producing scar tissue Anthony didn't see, might still not see. Leastwise doesn't discuss. Has no right to anyway, that's Flea's gig. That's would be why they used to sleep curled up in laundry rooms but now they wouldn't be in the same house.
Scar tissue builds up barriers. Too close and scorpy's sting will pierce deeply. and when it does, the poison eats away at your soul.
Shame no one told me "hey, listen to this crazy, blue-haired, motherfucker wearin a sock on his dick and learn to play like him" ... Not that I played like he-who-I-thought-I-was, just liked to diddle around on the bass n such. I didn't have the first clue about what was going on musically. I think I gave that up this go around; wasn't needed. needed something else. still have the shadows of my former self tho, that one still thinks she's a musical genious...
my bass has been nudging at me recently. urging me to pick it up and dig in. cept tho, what comes out is not quite what I want to come out. meaning, the songs are no where near what I listen to. what I play isn't even in the same genre.
scales baby, scales. get the basics down
yeah. getting the basics down. That's where I'm at right now. laying a foundation for skills which will serve me well in the years to come. doing basic work in a variety of subjects rather than diving head first into deep waters. or I think I'm diving deep. Funny thing is that I'm not even waist deep when I run out of steam and head back to land.
right now a dream is coming back to me. The one where I'm on an island which is about to be hit with a missile and people are clamoring to leave. I'm sitting there waiting for someone to tell me what to do, where to go, when all I needed to do is just go. What I was doing was packing a bag. Then another one, because the first one was packed and still, no one had told me where to go. Then another one. Then I started looking for someone, but everyone had gone.
no one will tell you what to do. If you're waiting for it, you're delusional at worst, setting yourself up for disappointment at best.
time to build the foundation.
Posted by beadchaser
at 6:37 PM PDT
not sure